In the Belly of The Earth

I will christen this painting I did last fall "In the Belly of the Earth" in honor of my teacher, Kim, and the story that follows.

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble; how hopeless the outlook; how muddled the tangle; how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.

--Emmet Fox, the Sermon on the Mount

In light of Kim's recommendation, I put my books aside for a day and decided to meditate on recent percolation's before and after sleep last night.

I must admit that the quality of my meditation has changed beginning with my teacher's Reiki attunement.

During the attunement procedure, Kim laid hands and worked her magic, going down a line to each of the six of us in successive turns, changing or adding something in each of several rounds. In an early round, she used her highly receptive hands to feel our energy. I was the last in the group of six and she developed a tremble upon touch of my right shoulder, which she later said indicated a response to a certain quality of energy I was emitting that she could share with the rest of the group.

Well, something else happened around that shudder point that I internalized. I felt magnetized -- like heavy magnets were weighting me downward. I've been meditating on and off since my Unity days in the 80s. Usually I feel lighter until I drift off to sleep or go airborne. With Kim, I got heavier and heavier, "drawn into the belly of the earth."

This reminded me of my first metaphysical experience in which I was in a forest in Indiana with college friends. I broke off from the group and sat on a decaying tree stump feeling perfectly in tuned with nature and wonderful. The heavy sensation kicked in without any thought or effort on my part. Then, just like Alice in Wonderland, I fell inside. I could smell the earth in heightened concentration. I felt its warmth and strength. I became like a burrowing earthworm. I could navigate with equal ease into earth, amid roots and through stone. I fell in love at that moment with it all, my secret love, and carried an afterglow of bubbling tingles for quite a while after the experience. I shared the moment with only a few close friends, one who sighed, "Aw girl, you just had a metaphysical experience. I'm jealous." I knew it was a gift to treasure forever. I incorporated a reverence for all life in all forms from that moment on.

I had similar encounters at 8:30 last night and 3:30 this morning. I must first confess that I am a lazy meditator. I bought a latex mattress and lots of pillows last year to cradle my old bones firmly. If I'm just going to lay around, I want to be comfortable. I know the gurus say that a certain amount of discomfort will prevent you from falling asleep. And they're right, of course. They get used to those horrible lotus positions and worse. I keep promising myself I'll change, but I don't. So the Universe has blessed me with more sleep than I need and often inspired answers, sometimes full dictated chapters, upon awakening as our means of communication. Thank you.

So last night, propped in latex, I let my thoughts drift over and through me. I concentrated on my breathing and fell into my own cells. I thanked them for a job well done. I told them I didn't believe the rubbish about aging and that they shouldn't either. I brought my hands to my thighs and chided that didn't need to store as much fat as they've been doing lately, let it go. I thanked the chakra at my solar plexus for not over-reacting to the temptations of the holidays with all the sweet and fatty foods around. I brought my hands over my face and spoke lovingly to my skin cells. This, honestly, is the first time I've been this effusive toward my body, but it felt good, so I went with it.

I reminded my group of my readings. "Ya know, gang, if we unify our efforts we can magnify our effects 300 million times. So you really have unlimited potential. Go for it." I thought about the superfluidity and superradiance stuff of yesterday, letting the words go away and the blur fade my thoughts into simple muted awareness.

My legs and spine were melting into the latex. "Uh oh," I felt like I doubled in weight. "Hey guys, don't mess with me please. Remember 'Only for the Greatest Good' now!" I tripled in weight and felt I couldn't lift a finger without a crowbar. I assured myself this was some magnetic effect I was feeling. My cells were tingling, I could feel each and every one of them vibrating. "All together, now, all together now."

"Okay, let's go for it!" I thought. "Hey, I know you're all out there, better teachers, more experienced travellers than I am. Well, let's join forces to magnify our efforts and reach for the highest good." I waited for the light to change and put on the gas. "Unconditional Love! Let it flow through me." I thought of husband beside me, and my children, one at a time. Then the rest of my family, their children and spouses. I saw their faces and said, "I love you." It didn't matter that I hadn't said this out loud to half of them for a long long time. It felt good.

A force was teaming up with me, so we went for an expanded audience at greater distances. The homeless, the discouraged, the sick, the lonely. I saw all these beautiful faces, of different colors and textures so many worn and weathered, from all over the world. I said "I love you" to each and every one in the montage. That didn't feel too bad either.

We fell into oceans and I loved the feel of it. We could spread love through the oceans like Matsui said. I recalled another blip about healers affecting hydrogen in water, which related to another sideline of my research, and it all segued and slipped on top of one another like some glorious, albeit over-intellectualized, group orgy. Layered concepts without words.

We were zooming close to home. I thought about my trees, conceptually, and felt another distinct tingle inside. I have thousands on my property, still I planted fifty more last year, and replaced the ones who didn't do so well this fall. "Make sure they're happy, please," I thought and instantly saw scrawny aspen and cottonwood, just like I'd seen the multitude of faces. Although it seems strange, I felt they beamed back at me. "Check on the seedlings, too," and I felt the grasses and baby roots under three feet of snow.

Some of my weight reduced and I drifted off after this global adventure. My last memory was glancing at the clock to see the time as 10:30. I don't really know how much time was involved at which stage of relaxation, meditation or simple sleep.

I awoke at 3:33 and wondered if it would be presumptuous to try it again. My cells responded immediately without questioning. I could feel them tingle, like they were getting into position, and I felt heavy within moments of first thought. "Okay, I'm game if you are." It's easier to meditate if you aren't fully woken up yet. Although sometimes I awaken to a chatterbox of thoughts and ideas and know that I need to get up and get going. This time I was a blank slate in a ready position. It was as though they were asking me to pick up from where we left off. "Unconditional Love," I remembered. "Highest Good," I murmured like a mom's automatic, "Be Careful!"

The next time I looked at the clock it was 5:27. It felt like good work had been done.